I'm attaching this to this thread because I think FRAN?OIS and DIRK would get a chuckle out of this.
April fools in October! Cheers!
"The European Union commissioners announced that an agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
had some room for improvement and so accepted a five-year phased plan
what will be known as EuroEnglish (Eee for short)
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c"
replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
and komputers kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
reach the stage where more komplicated changes are possible.
will enkorage the removal of doubleletters, which have always ben a
to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent
in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
with "z", and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan
dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similiar changes vud of kors be
to ozer kombinasyon of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech