Way OT for my Euro Mouseketeers
I'm attaching this to this thread because I think FRAN?OIS and DIRK would get a chuckle out of this.
April fools in October! Cheers!
Jeff
"The European Union commissioners announced that an agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part
of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling
had some room for improvement and so accepted a five-year phased plan
for
what will be known as EuroEnglish (Eee for short)
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly,
sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c"
will be
replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters
and komputers kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like
'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to
reach the stage where more komplicated changes are possible.
Governments
will enkorage the removal of doubleletters, which have always ben a
deterent
to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent
"e"'s
in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th"
with "z", and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan
be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similiar changes vud of kors be
aplid
to ozer kombinasyon of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer.
Ve hav vays to mak yu unterschtant und komply!"